Character Bios

Evie Dexter

Our beautiful heroine and tour guide extraordinaire. A sultry brunette with pale blue eyes. A romantic at heart with a passion for white wine, gin and tonic, good-looking men and historical monuments.

Robert Harrison

Evie’s boyfriend and the love of her life. The handsome epitome of male perfection. With classic good looks and the body of a god. A potential condom model if ever there was one.

Lulu Spencer

Best friend and flatmate who started college as a virgin and left by order of the court. Busty, blonde and gorgeous, her greatest achievement is that she’s never fallen pregnant – there’s a picture on Facebook at ‘nil’ weeks to prove it. Lulu is looking for a meaningful relationship based on sex and lies.

Lexy Carter

High-maintenance older sister who’s conscience stopped working years ago, extracting favours is Lexy’s area of expertise. A yummy mummy with a designer buggy.

Becky Carter

Niece and manifestation. It’s true, there’s something not quite right about this child, (is she even human?) Age 3, blonde and blue-eyed. A demon and the terror of the nursery. What exactly is a poltergeist?

Lauren Carter

Niece and cherub. Age 3, with dazzling emerald eyes and chestnut hair. An angelic child and the family darling.

Nikki Joanou

South-West London’s heartthrob. Bar owner, neighbour and friend. Handsome and charismatic but with a pressure cooker for a head. Honestly!

Maria Joanou

Five foot tall if you include her 6-inch lacquered beehive. Wears a nylon apron and tights the colour of a stewed Tetley tea bag, and worships the DFS sale. She means well, but it’s sometimes difficult to keep that in mind.

Tina Saunders

Operations Executive, colleague and friend, with an obsession for L’Oreal hair dye, salesmen, Baileys and Malibu. Tina’s speciality is revenge – she would tell you that herself.

Plus

Meet the Boot-Campers!

Evie

(Our heroine — you’ve met her before!) Evie went to the gym once last year, so she knows what to expect from a military boot camp experience. After all, how hard can this be? Er . . . What exactly is an assault course?

Lulu

(Evie’s flatmate — you’ve met her too!) Lulu is looking for sisterhood bonding, to compliment her self-imposed two week man famine. An all-female military boot camp is the answer, she’s sure of it! Her iPod and false eyelashes are packed.

Anna

Anna must lose seven stones if she is to hold on to her philandering husband. Anna needs motivation, encouragement, inspiration and drive. But will her fellow boot-campers provide it? Can they? She’s hoping so . . . her marriage depends on it.

Tiffany

Tiff’s getting married. The ten-tier wedding cake is paid for, the dress with a mile of organza and tulle is a work in progress, and the pink Cinderella carriage with six white horses has been hijacked from another wedding booking. Tiff wants to get in shape, and she will, at boot camp! Surely the fact that she’s never worn a pair of trainers in her life is totally an inconsequential detail?

Sarah

Sarah is sixty-five-years-old. She decides to spend a week at a military boot camp whilst her beloved bowling green is being returfed. She’s looking forward to it. The boot camp offers a fabulous selection of herbal teas – she saw it herself on the website.

Grace

Sarah’s twin sister, (obviously also sixty-five). Grace would have preferred a week in Corfu. But the fear of her sister losing weight and being slimmer than she is, has kept her awake and writhing in her bed sheets for the past two weeks. So here she is.

Lorna

Obsessed with sit-ups, squats, press-up and circuit training, she is an all-round bloody irritating show-off who worships the Goddess Belinda, deity of bliss, happiness and contentment.

Rhonda

Lorna’s cousin. Loves a workout. Jogs in an enthusiastic ‘S’ bend to the toilet. Addicted to lettuce, water and getting out of bed at 5am.

Judy

The fitness instructor, with a bum as small, round and tight as a crash helmet, and the biggest show-off of them all.

Join them all for a week in It Happened at Boot Camp.

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