Blackmailed By A Condom

July 6th, 2012

OK, I’m on the train, (standing as usual). My phone pings. It’s a texts from my son.

SON        Mum can you get me condoms?

I lift my shoulder so that nosey woman next to me cant read my screen, and hide my phone with my cuff.  And fire back a no-nonsense reply. The friggin nerve of him!

ME          No!  Get your own bloody condoms.

There that told him !!

SON         Do you want me to make you a granny?

Big gulp.  Me a granny? No way, he couldn’t . . .he wouldn’t. I can’t even knit. Actually, he might. *Quickly decides on a serious bit of back-peddling*

ME           Where do I get them?

SON         Supermarket bottom shelf next to the lube and shit for bad feet.

ME            OK, on my way.

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Posted in: From the Author by Molly Hopkins on July 6th, 2012

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