Ann Summers Reckie

July 13th, 2011

To help fine tune a couple of chapters of IT HAPPENED IN VENICE I popped into Anne Summers this morning. Not to buy anything, just to take a casual look around. It’s not my kind of shop, not at all.  I picked up a basket. Not that I thought I would need one, picking up a basket was an impulsive action. I have to say I was impressed with the lingerie. At a very fleeting casual glance I noticed that the briefs are flirty, skirted, unique and sexy. Bras are made of gorgeous shimmering satin with cleavage boosting cups. Basques are luxurious and available in a variety of rich colours, and stockings are glossy and come in a spectrum of  shades and trimmed with intricate lace. I dropped a couple of bits and pieces in my basket, and ambled over to the rather cluttered wall to wall shelves. I picked up something that looked suspiciously like a medieval thumb screw, although made of baby pink rubber.

‘Can I help you?’

I wheeled. A glamorous young girl with big dark hair and heavily made up eyes smiled at me. There was an awkward silence. I couldn’t make up my mind if she could help me or not. I didn’t want anything. She gazed at me curiously. I had the baby pink thumb screw in my hand.

‘No thank you,’ I said at last.

‘Do you know what that’s for?’ she asked me looking at the thumb screw.

Hell would freeze before I admitted that I didn’t.

‘Of course I do,’ I heard myself say. ‘In fact I have one at home,’ I felt compelled to add.

‘So do I,’ she told me, with a long slow sigh of unadulterated bliss. The look on her face was beatific; she smiled at the thumb screw reverentially. I had to have it!  I would read the instructions on the box when I got home. Whatever it does for her, I mean to find out. I chucked it in the basket.

‘Still there’s no harm in having a spare,’ I told her.

She gave a nod of agreement.

‘Can I interest you in our outfits?’ she asked.

‘Outfits?’

I knew my expression was blank, what outfits?

‘We have Fifi Maid, Cheerleader . . .’

I cut her off.

‘Eer, no thanks,’ I said politely. ‘I’ll just browse if that’s all right with you.’ I told her with a dismissive gesture.

But she didn’t go away; in fact she shadowed me, and gave me a run down on the logistics of my anatomy, like a Consultant Gynaecologist. And I have to say, most of what she told me was news to me. I’m a great believer in taking professional advice when it’s given. And all the better if  the advice is given for free. And it occurred to me that I would look ungrateful if  I didn’t buy anything. I let her pilot me around the shop, we grew quite chummy in the end. I smiled modestly as she ran my items through the till, and OK, I was surprised when my bill came to £95.00. But I’m hoping as it’s research of  sorts that its tax deductable. Surely it should be?

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Posted in: From the Author by Molly Hopkins on July 13th, 2011

2 Comments already, do join in...

  1. On August 29th, 2011 at 3:24 pm, Jan said:

    Errr, and the pink thumb screw was for…?

  2. On August 29th, 2011 at 5:16 pm, Molly Hopkins said:

    Well lets just say Jan, that is was more fun that watching East Enders. xxx

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